53 Witty Memes for the Bickering, Nagging Old Married Couples (February 29, 2024)

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 29, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Married couples, what can we say? You've spent a lifetime together (or nearly such), you know each other like the back of your hands, and you still enjoy spending time together after all these years. Though you've both had your swings of ambivalence, you are united today and that's all that matters. Through thick and thin, good and bad, you've stayed together like peanut butter and jelly. Like Elvis and Priscilla, like Bono and The Edge, the salt to her pepper. 

Enjoy this life of compassion, comradery, and companionship. It's not every couple who makes it to the limits you've gone, to the cliff edges you've balanced atop, and where you fought battles together. You can be proud that you're role models for your children, giving them a healthy depiction of what a loving, long-term relationship looks like. What it takes from both people, and how they can achieve it for themselves.

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  • 01
    My husband and I having a stare off over who deserves to be more tired Not The Worst Mom
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 02
    When my husband tries using a back rub to trick me into
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  • 03
    When your husband is unexpectedly home and you don't want him to see all the clothes you just bought. Look away! @wivesnightin
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  • 04
    When my husband unloads the dishwasher once. It ain't much, but it's honest work
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  • 05
    Husbands are the best people to share secrets with. They'll never tell anyone, because they aren't even listening.
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 06
    Women Who Love Wine @wwlwine Guys, every time you are at the grocery store, grab your wife a bottle of wine. If at any point you find yourself thinking "maybe she doesn't want wine", you are wrong. Get her the wine.
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  • 07
    In my next life I want to come back as a husband. My LifeSuckers
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  • 08
    No Idea: Daddy Blog @byclintedwards My wife has a "hand wash only" casserole dish that got a pretty harsh reality check in the dishwasher today. #ThugLife
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  • 09
    Abam Droud @AdamBroud [Married ] Wife: What are you wearing? Me: Just my underwear Wife: So you still haven't done the laundry? ME: No I have not RETWEETS LIKES 226 734 9:07 PM-21 Apr 2016 10 £3 226 734 - Follow ***
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  • 10
    Messages Thank you for putting up with me last night. I was being a beast, and I appreciate your kindness. You are an amazing partner and I'm lucky you like me. O It's what I needed at the time. iMessage QWER 123 Today 10:28 AM I wasn't that kind. I hit you with a pillow until you stopped crying. :D The KO Details ASD F GHJ KL Read 10:30 AM ZXCVBN M I'm TYUI OP space X return
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  • 11
    My husband: Where are my shoes? Me: By the door. My husband: All right, then. Keep your secrets.
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  • 12
    When my husband tells the kids they can stay up for 5 more minutes.
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  • 13
    When I find my husbands shirt that was right where I said it would be.
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  • 14
    Me and my husband pretending to be surprised when the babysitter tells us our kid wasn't good TON @MOMOF1ANDDONE
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  • 15
    Dad and Buried @DadandBuried Sometimes I purposefully dress my toddler in mismatched pajamas just to make my wife's head explode.
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  • 16
    Dad and Buried @DadandBuried My wife got in her gym clothes, delivered an angry five-minute rant about how much she loves bread, then started cry-laughing at an unintelligible joke she mumbled between hysterical sobs. I have never been so scared in my life.
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  • 17
    Last night I asked my husband to put some spaghetti on the stove so I could start dinner when I got home. I came home to this... 804
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  • 18
    My wife left me in charge on the shower curtain
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  • 19
    Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer I went to lunch with friends and saw my husband at the restaurant. I was going to say his name but he was staring at his phone so I watched him. He was smiling. He typed. Then my phone dinged. And it was a video he forwarded of a dog wrestling a water hose. This is love.
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 20
    It's more difficult to choose a movie with my wife than it was to choose a wife Dad and Burfed.com
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  • 21
    Secrets to a Happy Marriage Separate Phone Chargers NETFLIR FAMILY Separate Bathrooms MOM DAD Separate Netflix Profiles
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  • 22
    MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED OVER 50 YEARS AND I CAN STILL MAKE HER SCREAM MY NAME IN BED BELL D 500 I JUST FART AND PULL THE COVERS UP OVER HER HEAD
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  • 23
    Jester D @JustMeTurtle It's my wife's birthday so she gets to pick the restaurant, unlike all those other times when... wait for it... she gets to pick the restaurant.
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  • 24
    WHEN YOUR HUSBAND HEARS YOU TALKING ABOUT SHOPPING AND SPENDING MONEY memegen.com
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  • 25
    That moment you realize your wife's wrath is scarier than any 150 mph act of God
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  • 26
    him: "I never said that" me:
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  • 27
    Wife wanted a dog. I didn't. So we compromised. Meet our new dog.
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  • 28
    When you're exhausted, but your husband is feeling frisky... so you hide in the kitchen and wait for him to fall asleep on the couch. @wittyotter
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  • 29
    I DON'T ALWAYS DRIVE MY WIFE'S CAR BUT WHEN I'DO, THE GAS LIGHT IS ON
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  • 30
    ME MY DAMAGED CHARGER MY WIFE'S WORKING CHARGER
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  • 31
    Tracie Tom @tracietom If you are single, picture what you think marriage is like. Wrong. You are both in Home Depot arguing over a light fixture
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  • 32
    When my husband and I finally get some alone time, but the humans we created barge in Accidental Super Mom OH! WHAT A SURPRISE!
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  • 33
    Simon Holland @simoncholland Me: exhausted and 15 seconds from falling asleep My wife: Would you stay with me if we woke up tomorrow and my arms and legs were gone?
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  • 34
    Anyone else notice when his snoring got "Extra" bad, his wife left him? Breathe Better Sleep Better Better Sleep Better Heathe Breathe DRVIG FREL CLEAR for Sensitive Skin Opens Your Nose To Relieve Nasal Congestion nasal strips 21-4202 HNHX 24112068 DEDRICKS EXTRA 36.89 3 30 SM/MED STRIPS 50% Stronger To Help You Breathe Even Better 10 STRIPS nasal strips
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  • 35
    PLEASE HIDE PACKAGES FROM HUSBAND فاهم 92 85
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  • 36
    Josh diwearaonesie Wife: Do that thing I like Me: *uses a coaster*
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  • 37
    Advo White 24 Advanced Whitening This is why my wife and I don't share a tube. 16 S techotakan bate
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  • 38
    "Wife: Can you swing by and pick me up some tampons?" 10 minutes later... "What the is ultra flow, heavy flow, easy applicator... I'm gonna screw this up."
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  • 39
    Me, when my husband picks out our kids' clothes. Sommy
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  • 40
    My husband calls me the bomb... Not sure if it's because I'm super , or i might go off at any minute.
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  • 41
    FACEBOOK: "Nine years ago I married the love of my life & best friend. You're my forever, babe." MACGYVERINGMOM.COM REAL LIFE: "Touch the thermostat again & I'll end you."
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 42
    When I'm up first and she's asleep When she's up first and I'm asleep
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  • 43
    HEY, BILL! SO, HOW'S THE MARRIED LIFE TREATING YOU? I CAN'T COMPLAIN! OH, YOU KNOW!
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  • 44
    When you finally let him see your crazy side but it's too late for him to escape @lucyontheground
    via youandmeandrainbows
  • 45
    When I see my husband walk into the bathroom with his phone. @close toclassy
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  • 46
    ME WONDERING HOW MY HUSBAND IS GOING TO SURVIVE HIS COLD WITHOUT ME KILLING HIM FIRST. @snarkybreeders
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  • 47
    Momarazzi. @Mirimade 70% if marriage is informing your spouse what you cleaned that day. "Did you see I did the dishes?" "I did. Did you see I cleaned the living room? Like, I didn't clean it all the way but you can definitely see I worked on it. " "Yeah. You can't tell but I did some laundry."
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  • 48
    SPRO FOOOH 3101 Ceot Piy Cake You ALREADY ATE YOURS! S AWA
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  • 49
    TimTam win ORIGINA 50 TRIPS The cruelest thing my wife has ever done to me.
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  • 50
    Space Force General @ZingHurler My wife's superpower is observing when I'm happy and putting a stop to that nonsense.
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  • 51
    How I stared at my husband for all 2h and 29m of Gone Girl Not The Worst Mom
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  • 52
    Marry someone who looks while dissapointed.
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  • 53
    Rodney Lacroix @moooooog35 Wife: Let's watch Netflix. Me: Ok. [starts movie] Wife: [sleeping] Me [pausing]: OMG we are two seconds into it. Wife: What? Me: You're sleeping. Wife: I'm not sleeping. Press Play. Me: [presses Play] Wife: [sleeping]
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aww long term relationship wholesome marriage cute memes witty soulmates cute relationships Memes couples sweet love parents dating
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